The Office: Why Does Michael Hate Toby?!
The Office (US) is probably my favourite mockumentary sitcom television series. Not just because of the delightful Michael shenanigans. But also because it is one of the best written shows of this century. Every time I watch it after a gap of a few months, I discover a new layer of emotions and characteristics.
Michael Scott is a very complex person, emotionally. But the core of his personality is his need to be liked, loved and admired by everyone around, especially his office mates, whom he actually considers his family (because his real family is perhaps not one that you'd call "functional"). And he loves everyone in return. Even the slightest word of praise or affection has his heart melting for his Office (his work family). So I can't help but imagine what makes him hate Toby so earnestly. While Toby Flenderson can hardly be called the life of any party, he is still not exceptionally hate-worthy. There is Stanley Hudson, who openly defies and basically despises Michael. Yet he is an integral cog of the Michael Machine.
Also, Michael's loathing of Toby is not superficial. It is super-deep-rooted. In the earlier episodes, we would see small instances like Michael refusing to let Toby hold an office meeting or present an opinion of any sort. For example, Toby was not welcomed to the Diversity Day meeting (S1E2). Michael wouldn't recognise Toby's presence as his HR representative, even though he was on his side in The Deposition (S4E12). But then there were some pretty unkind ones. For example, Michael did not let Toby come along for Beach Day (S3E24). Outrightly denied! He did not let him participate in the Roast of Michael Scott (S5E15) by shouting "No! No! Friends Only!". He took away his Christmas present (velvet robe) when they were short by one (S3E10). He gave Toby a "rock" as his going away present and said to him "of all the idiots, in all the idiot villages, in all the idiot worlds, you stand alone, my friend" (S4E14). He shut the lid on the donut box on this birthday when Toby wanted to have one (S2E19). And he talked about Toby's divorce uninhibitedly; when Toby once complained about wanting to go home, Michael retorted that he didn't even have anyone to go home to.
Remember how gushed he was on Toby's Farewell day? He usually wants a party for almost every little thing, but this was a particularly special day. Toby was finally leaving his office! And he wanted this party to be outstanding. He even gave up his precious "boot money" for this. He usually performs one of his "accomplished song writings", which are really song parodies, but for Toby's good bye, he wrote an original. Or so he said. The song was actually "Goodbye Stranger" by Supertramp. But the fact that he emphasised that he had prepared an original for that day shows how important the day was for him.
So it was obvious that Michael broke into his classic "No! God, No!" hysteria when Toby got back after Holly's transfer to Nashua. I mean, imagine spending all that money and energy in expelling this evil (Michael called Toby "Satan" in S4E1), only to have him back in your backyard (annex). Although, to be honest, I think his reaction was also mixed with some embarrassment for he learnt about his return a week after the fact! Later, Michael even went on to frame Toby for drugs to get him out of the place again.
The reason for all his actions is actually straightforward. Michael needs to run the place autonomously. He needs to fulfil his whimsies and he needs the office to participate in that. And while he is doing these things, he also needs to be liked for them. So when Toby comes in and presents the "ethics" barrier in front of him, Toby is doing his job all right, but he is basically snatching candy out of a child's hand. How will this child react?
For Michael, Toby is like that elder brother your mother sends with you as a chaperone on your date. So all you can do on this date is talk basic and come back. Unless your brother is cool enough to let you be alone. But Toby isn't that either. He always, always does it by the book or in Michael's words, "brings his horribleness into everything". I repeat, Toby is just doing his job the way it’s intended, but he ends up pissing off Michael. So much so that even when he actually agrees with him, Michael shuts him up.
So Toby from HR becomes Michael's nemesis. And by transition, so does Holly initially. Holly's joining had actually shed light on the actual reason for Michael's hatred for the first time. And it was also for the first time that Michael had realised that not everyone from HR is his enemy. It was purely Toby's personality that made him so. And I agree. I always felt that even when Toby was trying to help Michael or to be nice to him, he was really wishing him bad luck. For example, Toby had totally cracked up during Jan's deposition (S4E12), when a remark from Michael's diary about how he found Ryan hot, had come up. I don't think it was very "ethical" of Toby to have laughed that way, considering that he was there for the sole purpose of protecting Michael.
I believe that this was what flared Michael's detestation of Toby over the years. You know how a dog can sense whether a human likes him or not, and it alters its behaviour accordingly? Seriously, even the friendliest of the dogs do that. In the same way, a person can sense whether the other person actually means well or not. This is what we generally term as "getting good or bad vibes" from someone. The reason that Michael's attitude towards Toby never mellowed was because he never received any good vibes from Toby.
I'll end this by saying that most of the times it was hilarious to see Michael being that way with Toby but sometimes it also hurt. It hurt because it was against Michael's true nature to treat someone like that. All he always yearned was love and respect from people around. And all he always wanted to give back was laughter by way of his "showmanship". So even if Toby had a major contribution in this relationship of revulsion, I wish that Michael had found a way to be less mean and more facetious at least. But then, we also know that maturity was not one of Michael's strongest suits. 😬